The American Gladiators

October 28th, 2009

I could care less about that new American Gladiators show, the original American Gladiators are definitely up to 88 in the coolest way possible. I used to love this show when I was a kid, it was so bad ass with the jousting and the human cannonball. But I think my favorite event was the one where they had a big network of hanging rings and you had to monkeybar along and throw the other person off. Check it out

The American Gladiators were definitely part of that unknowing 80’s homo-eroticism with Nitro the “arrogant dickhead” and Malibu the “surfer dude” (top and bottom ;)).

Check out the intro

But the best is where Nitro ended up: confessing his steroids in his memoirs. It’s absolutely priceless, he talks about his shrinking penis and growing man-boobs: “Breast-chesticles is what they’re called on the street. Gynecomastia is the scientific name.” (From `Gladiator: A True Story of ‘Roids, Rage and Redemption`)

Pluto

October 28th, 2009

2006 was a sad year for astronomy: it was the year astronomers ruled that Pluto is not planet.

Putting Pluto ‘up to 88’ makes me want to cry, but Pluto is really no different from any celebrity. In the 60’s-80’s the space race put Pluto in limelight. It’s fame trickled off but it still had a nice B-list stint in the 90’s. Pluto was never as big as the Moon or Mars or the Sun, but it was right in there with Jupiter and Saturn in that second tier of cool planets, and an an untouchable lone-wolf.

And now that I think about it, the wackest planet is probably Neptune. Who the fuck cares Neptune? Your spot is weak next to Jupiter’s and Saturn completely pwns your rings. You’re not even good for jokes like your neighbor Uranus. You may be the farthest planet in our Solar System, but you are definitely no Pluto.

Check out astrophysicist Michael Brown argue with the great Neil DeGrasse Tyson on whether Pluto is a planet

Air Phones

September 26th, 2009

Remember “air phones”? These used to be on every plane in the 90’s. They were so 90’s too – they looked like the Zach Morris cell phone. And remember the place to swipe your card? That was almost 80’s…

Well air phones haven’t gone completely “up to 88”, I saw them on a plane last week.

Susan Boyle

September 17th, 2009

Remember Susan Boyle? That was a pretty brief 15 minutes huh?

Well I for one am glad she made it up to 88 so quickly…I remember feeling seriously disappointed when a friend sent me her now famous Britain’s Got Talent performance.

Thing is, when someone links me an American Idol-type video I’m expecting to see some carnage: I mean I only clicked on it out of morbid curiosity. I want to watch them crash and burn, I want to feel better about myself watching some poor freak like Willie Hung. I definitely DO NOT want to see some uplifting tale of an ugly duckling / diamond in the rough / blah blah blah.

Well I think Susan Boyle’s newfound lack of fame teaches us one thing: pretty people will always win, no matter how much we may pretend otherwise.

Well here you go Susan, your last moments of fame:

Susan Boyle on American Idol (AKA Britain’s Got Talent)

Cuz I’ve Had the Time of My Life – 10 Best P. Swayze Clips

September 15th, 2009

Miss you so bad P. Swayze. Namaste Bodhi, I hope you’re catching waves up in heaven bra.

1. “Back off warchild” from Point Break (1991)

2. ‘Pain don’t hurt’ – from Roadhouse (1989)

3. ‘She’s Like the Wind’ music video performed by P. Swayze (1987)

4. Fight from Roadhouse (1989)

5. Bodhi learns more Spanish than “Vaya con dios”

6. Bodhi learns how to say “Vaya con dios” in Italian

7. Obligatory Dirty Dancing Scene (1987)

8. Point Break (1991) Trailer

9. Trailer for Ghost (1990)

10. Big bar fight in Roadhouse (1989)

Saying “Phat”

September 15th, 2009

How could you forget “phat”, it seems like everyone was saying this in the 90’s: yuppy record executives, kids from the hood, even my parents.

There was also that clothing label Phat Farm which apparently still exists. I see a lot of collared shirts on their website, so I guess they wound up closer to their true demographic: snotty rich kids who want to look tough. (I was one of these :))

Here’s someone who is even more into early 90’s slang than me (not work safe)

L.A. Law

September 10th, 2009

Remember LA Law? I have distinct memories of LA Law being regarded as progressive for having a mentally handicapped (aka retarded) character on the show. But I think the actor was of normal intelligence, so it wasn’t authentico like Corky.

Definitely up to 88…

The Power Glove

August 25th, 2009

The Power Glove was so super awesome in the late 80’s/early 90’s. (I mean just look at this guy)

But my friend actually got a Power Glove and it was a big let down. It didn’t really work that well and all you could play was one boring game where you bounced a ball around.

Check out a power glove commercial